unplug

Today, I actually wrote a whole bunch. The trick was to unplug, apparently. I closed my laptop, sat at my typewriter, listened to some Eluvium, and WROTE. So good. Will edit the stuff and get at least some of it up here at some point.

I don’t know how intentional it is on their part, but I’m still hanging.

Ow.

I need to write something today…

…but what?

It’s going to be small random musings today.

How much shit can happen in one week? First Robin, now this. All of this long-distance shit. I hope this week will be less weird.

Facebook is a lifeline right now, it’s keeping me connected to so many people at home. Which is something I really need right now.

I keep meaning to do the readings, and not doing them. This is problematic.

I miss last year. I miss Rhymation, and Scattergories. I miss the theatre department.

I think the best way to start the morning is in bed, with homemade biscotti and a mug of King Cole tea. Delicious, peaceful, awesome.

Also, I miss the quadrilateral, from last spring. K., you know what I mean.

revision dilemma

There is a boy.  Last year, when I started this blog, I was romantically interested in him.  The tag for him to a certain extent reflects this.  Now we are friends, only friends.  I know I decided to not to revise previous posts to reflect the current truth, but what about tags?  It seems odd to tag him in a way that implies (at least to me) romantic interest, but I don’t want to just make up a new tag without changing all the old ones. So do I change the old ones?  Complicating the issue slightly is the fact that he and K. have the same first initial.

Anyway, I originally got onto this topic because I liked something he’d said about Robin:
“Robin had the reputation akin to a Goddess. She is always there; watching, waiting.”
Which I loved, and wanted to quote here.

I do almost feel like she’s still watching me, asking me why I’ve read so little of the Darwin I’m supposed to be reading.

I’ve been drowning my sorrows in Monty Python, junk food, and tea, mainly, because I’m sure she’d worry if I drowned them in anything stronger. (I did have a slightly spiked hot chocolate last night.)

I’ve been wearing this silly little bracelet, too. Just brightly coloured plastic beads – she picked it up one day when we were organizing the costume shop and said something like “this looks like you.”
My friend E. wears a beautiful, simple silver metal bracelet in memory of her friend Haley, and as lovely as something like that would be, the bright plastic found in the theatre somehow seems so much more appropriate for Robin.

a bunch of different people

I love you, you know.

A year later, I want what you offered. Is it too late?

I don’t know, I just don’t know.

The more I talk to you the less I want to.

Stop using that tone. Just stop.

I lie to you with increasing frequency.

You’re a sweetie.

I’m glad I got the guts to talk to you, you’re awesome.

I used to have the biggest crush on you.

I miss you.

I miss our conversations.

Please leave me alone.

Thank you.

thinking morbid thoughts

Stumbled onto the blog of an old friend whose boyfriend died in a car crash on Thanksgiving, so I’m thinking about death and how it affects people.

Words/phrases that disappeared from Sara’s tongue:

-car crash
-collisions
-Nick
-love
-death, dead, die, dying, dead
-Bowdoin (his college)

And she’s not the only friend to be touched by death.

I don’t like death.

platonic for her, not for him

I love you, ya know?
not just saying it to you
I mean it - always

could you come back please?
can’t force you - that wouldn’t fit
so I’ll try waiting

two haikus and a tanka

 it’s nice that you care
but priorities get fucked
sometimes sleep comes last

hypocrite - you are
but I love you anyway
thank you, sweet - thank you

when we hug I think
you feel so thin - breakable
but still you feel strong
do you fear I’d break too?  don’t -
I can’t break me when I try

All ’bout different people, if you were wondering.

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