things that are lovely

Los Campesinos! Listen to them now. Go. Do it.
Camp starts next week and for week 1 I’m co-counselling with a very old friend.
I make pretty cakes at my other job.
Arts & Crafts sampler album which I got for FREE.
…Gaia Online. Oops. Addicted.
DRIVER’S LICENSE DRIVER’S LICENSE DRIVER’S LICENSE.
HEHEHE I CAN DRIVE.
Also, Mom’s away next week so I get a car for the whole week.
Orange-flavoured Celsius is actually delicious.
Walgreens had it today.

And two unlovely things:
My room is a mess.
Writer’s block up the wazoo. Prompts, anyone?

unplug

Today, I actually wrote a whole bunch. The trick was to unplug, apparently. I closed my laptop, sat at my typewriter, listened to some Eluvium, and WROTE. So good. Will edit the stuff and get at least some of it up here at some point.

I don’t know how intentional it is on their part, but I’m still hanging.

Ow.

poetry fragments

one day we say
one day we’ll do it all
whatever it is
I’ll swim naked at night
I’ll see Venice
I’ll get published
one day I’ll write that book

one day we say
one day we’ll do anything at all
anything
I’ll get rid of those dead flowers
I’ll wash the dishes
I’ll feel like getting up in the morning
one day I’ll remember to call

—

hey, remember me?
I’m you, you know, from before
hey, remember how you used to feel?
I feel it now
hey, feel it again
listen to this, see
the music takes you back
it always does, doesn’t it?
I knew it would
hey, remember you’re not me anymore
don’t get lost in that feeling
you can stop feeling it now
hello?
you coming back?
step back out of that feeling
are you listening to me anymore?
hello?

—

your brain should be a buzzing symphony
or so I’m told
what is the appeal of raw garlic?
it makes me less hungry
and these boots make me feel like a rockstar, but
what does that signify?
plus all those drunken phone calls and texts
what did they ever accomplish?
nothing
nothing at all

—

All need more work, I think.
Thoughts?

a list (style is a throwback to my LJ days)

+ = good
- = bad
~ = mixed/neutral

+ peppermint iced tea
+ gave myself a haircut (+70 indie points!)
- lots of little random boxes to unpack, still
+ have 3 hours to myself
- should work on previously mentioned boxes
~ probably won’t do as much as I should
+ listening to CSS
+ get to make my own dinner tonight
- we really need to go shopping
+ have friends
- not supposed to make plans until my boxes are more unpacked
~ am starting them anyway
+ on break
- almost everyone else is still in school

can’t

Today began normally.
I woke up, showered, got breakfast.
Went to lecture.
The lecture was sad but interesting, it was on the Holocaust.
Well, the first half was.
I had to leave partway through.
Because the lecturer was playing this beautiful Gorecki piece that Robin used in a play. And I tried to hold it together, but I just… can’t. I started crying, and I had to leave.

What else will set me off? I’m a little bomb full of grief, waiting to explode again.

here is modern grief

We leave our phones on all night. We pour out emotions on a Facebook group. We find comfort in mp3s, videos, digital photos. We set our Facebook photos, our statuses, our desktop backgrounds, in memory. We talk out our grief via IM, text message, email.

We leave our phones on all night in case someone needs to talk.