I need to write something today…

…but what?

It’s going to be small random musings today.

How much shit can happen in one week? First Robin, now this. All of this long-distance shit. I hope this week will be less weird.

Facebook is a lifeline right now, it’s keeping me connected to so many people at home. Which is something I really need right now.

I keep meaning to do the readings, and not doing them. This is problematic.

I miss last year. I miss Rhymation, and Scattergories. I miss the theatre department.

I think the best way to start the morning is in bed, with homemade biscotti and a mug of King Cole tea. Delicious, peaceful, awesome.

Also, I miss the quadrilateral, from last spring. K., you know what I mean.

sadness.

I wish this wasn’t the first post in ages, there are so many good things that’ve happened since I last wrote.

The list I was starting in my head after my good friend K. told me to write here again had:
- the first black US President was elected and inaugurated
- I came to Canada for university
- I fell in love with the guy I met the first night of frosh week

But you know what happened?

An absolutely incredible woman died. She was my advisor for a good part of my high school years, and head of the theatre department, where I spent an absurd amount of time. She’s the one who got me to get my shit together on my senior project, she’s the one who helped me grow up. I already missed her, up here over 400 miles away. I’d promised her a longer email a couple of weeks ago, which I never wrote. It was going to be full of things I was so proud to tell her about. I was so excited that I’d get home in time to see the musical, too.

Life sucks, you know?

I think it might be harder for me, too, because I’m alone with this. None of my friends here knew her. There’s one other person in the city (that I know of) who went to my school, and I’m not sure he ever spent time in the theatre department. Not like I did, certainly.

I was talking to a friend last night, and she said: “people can be understanding, but when there’s a death in the family (which the theatre crowd certainly is), you just want to be with your family.” That’s exactly it. I want to hug someone who knows how I feel. I called K. last night, which helps, but I want to be with everyone. I want to choke my way through “Rose” (which we sang before every show) in a group, not alone.

But most of all I want Robin to give me a hug, and that’s never going to happen again.

hugs

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Physical Touch
with a secondary love language being
Quality Time.

Complete set of results

Physical Touch:		11
Quality Time:		9
Acts of Service:		6
Words of Affirmation:		3
Receiving Gifts:		1

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don’t understand our partner’s requirements, or even our own. We all have a “love tank” that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

—–

Doesn’t really surpise me.  I’m a very huggy person.

From my paper journal: “I can talk to him online more easily than in person because online I don’t need to suppress the urge to hug him and never let go.”

Hugs - human contact - a basic food group for me.  When I can’t hug one person, when I lose a previously consistent source of contact, I glom onto someone else . . .