carbon

translucent, thin
the paper actress considered the paper theatre
the paper theatre considered the paper actress
the paper theatre created the paper actress
the rice paper butcher paper wax paper world
the carbon paper
the carbon copy people
she, the actress, was not carbon paper, carbon copy
created by the theatre and created just once
the paper actress
no ballerina, she
no spangle, no tin soldier to love
she considered the theatre alone
she considered her carbon copy script
performed carbon copy plays for the carbon copy people
scripts as substantial as tissue paper
wanted to scream sandpaper feel tar paper solid
from the depths of her origami soul
of folded tracing paper
intricate, transparent
she felt the wrapping paper change of a prettier outside
and stepped onstage again

—–

Not sure whether I like the ending, or the title… May need work.

“Technicalities” (written last year)

I shouldn’t have said what I said about horses
horses and riders
in castles of air
I shouldn’t’ve dropped hints all over the ground
where they could be found by
anyone who’d pick them up
I shouldn’t just wait
until it’s too late
it’s already happened
I already have
I shouldn’t have wished
so imprecisely
that’s how wishes go wrong
why haven’t we learned?
we’ll always be burned
by the gift of three wishes
it’s just like a fire and never a warning and
there’s no returning it
so you get what you wish for
but not what you want

—–

I wrote this poem last year, based in part off of a journal entry. Posting it here because I never put it anywhere public. (I did submit it to my school’s litmag, but that hasn’t come out yet this year.)

I’ll try to write something more later, but I have selection day for the school dance concert for a lot of the day. Much excitement! I choreographed a solo, let’s see if it gets in . . .

I don’t want to die

Not because I’m scared of death per say.  Because the thought of being a corpse grosses me out.  Don’t like the thought of being cremated, either.

My ideal would be to slowly become more insubstantial and transparent day by day until I disappear.

Or to become sea foam like the Little Mermaid.

I don’t want to be a yucky dead thing or a pile of ashes or even frozen.

So how do I disappear?